BE YOURSELF: Good One to Laugh

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Good One to Laugh

Foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man
tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS
are CLOSED.

2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD, After
Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication:
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters
not their friends.

5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine
and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next
to him.
Moral: BE SPECIFIC

7. Let us be generous like this: Four Ants are moving
through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says: we
should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says:
No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE
and we are FOUR.

8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing
SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in
your life.

9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their
MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him
to free you from Darkness.
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please
PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for
the same Mistake.

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Quotes by Sri Ramakrishna

God is Love
If you must be mad, be it not for the things of the world. Be mad with the love of God… Many good sayings are to be found in holy books, but merely reading them will not make one religious. One must practice the virtues taught in such books in order to acquire love of God.

God is True Knowledge
If you first fortify yourself with the true knowledge of the Universal Self, and then live in the midst of wealth and worldliness, surely they will in no way affect you. When the divine vision is attained, all appear equal; and there remains no distinction of good and bad, or of high and low… Good and evil cannot bind him who has realized the oneness of Nature and his own self with Brahman.

God is in Your Heart
Because of the screen of Maya (illusion) that shuts off God from human view, one cannot see Him playing in one's heart.
After installing the Deity on the lotus of your heart, you must keep the lamp of remembering God ever burning. While engaged in the affairs of the world, you should constantly turn your gaze inwards and see whether the lamp is burning or not.

God is in All People
God is in all men, but all men are not in God; that is why we suffer.

God is Our Father
As a nurse in a wealthy family brings up her master's child, loving it as if it were her own, yet knowing well that she has no claim upon it, so you also think that you are but trustee and guardians of your children whose real father is the Lord himself.

God is Infinite
Many are the names of God and infinite the forms through which He may be approached.

God is Truth
Unless one always speaks the truth, one cannot find God Who is the soul of truth. One must be very particular about telling the truth. Through truth one can realize God.

God is above all Arguments
If you desire to be pure, have firm faith, and slowly go on with your devotional practices without wasting your energy in useless scriptural discussions and arguments. Your little brain will otherwise be muddled.

God is Work
Work, apart from devotion or love of God, is helpless and cannot stand alone.

God is the End
To work without attachment is to work without the expectation of reward or fear of any punishment in this world or the next. Work so done is a means to the end, and God is the end.